Autoethnography. Entry 9 - Thoughts about LGBT+ in Russia

When I think about the situation around LGBT+ people in Russia and even Russia in general, I get quite an interesting feeling. A feeling of hopelessness and helplessness. As if nothing can be changed. The scale of normalisation of so many disgusting and inhumane things is mind-blowing, but that is exactly how normalisation works — ugly things become usual and unquestionable. People adjust, adapt, get used and come to terms with these ugly things. Every day in my news feed on social media, I see some news about another homophobic initiative by Russian authorities (from banning a rainbow flag to introducing punishment for displaying same-sex affection in public), another homophobic phrase from some public or political figure in the country, another NGO labelled by the state as a ‘foreign agent’, another opinion about morally-degraded West, another hundred of negative comments under some LGBT-related news in independent media, another question ‘why do these gay need to broadcast their orientation?’ and so on.’ And I can see all this even from New Zealand, and in mostly oppositional sources I follow in social media. I don’t watch any Russian TV channel, don’t read Russian newspapers, don’t communicate with homophobic surroundings (because I don’t have them here). But still, the situation in Russia feels as being carved in stone, not able to be changed. The same as when I lived in Russia. But currently, I definitely have much less pressure on myself. I am accepted by people around me, I don’t have to hide, lie, or pretend. I even cannot imagine how it feels to live in that — passive-aggressive at the very best ­– homophobic context every day. Luckily, I almost forgot how it felt. Now I would not be able to live like that. This naturalisation of the situation in Russia is truly depressing. Even knowing rationally about one’s rights and normality, one can hardly ignore the hostile environment and live in a bubble. This widespread perception of LGBT+ people in the country as abnormal, perverts, sinners, and Western agents is coupled with a naturalised understanding of the danger they present to others and especially minors. This naturalisation is happening on an everyday basis through public figures — political and mass media — who repeat this rubbish about ‘traditional values’ and how harmful ‘non-traditionality’ for Russia is. Bulshit. Just today, I noticed a piece of news on Facebook about some comedy show in Russia where two men kissed, playing a groom and a bride on stage. So two MPs in the Russian Duma are already commenting that this show breaks the law as the kiss allegedly propagandises non-traditional relationships…And this type of news is so common in the current Russian reality. I don’t believe they don’t affect people’s perceptions, even of those who criticise the government, even of some LGBT+ people themselves. When you are told every day from every corner that your existence is harmful, dangerous and shameful, it is hard not to start to believe that.

I mentioned unchangeability in the Russin context, but it is quite a special kind of it, I think. Because it is quite a paradoxical combination of unchangeability and unpredictability. Pretty much everything in one’s everyday life in Russia is both unchangeable and unpredictable. The former manifests in the feeling and understanding that you as an ordinary citizen have very little chance to influence how things work, to make a somehow noticeable impact on how life is organised around you, to contribute to social change. And even if you try — most likely you won’t succeed since, as a very popular Russian saying goes, the initiative is punishable. This can be seen, in particular, in the attempts of LGBT activists in Russia to protest, or in the situations when LGBT people come out, become visible and tell their stories — they are not listened to, they are most frequently ignored or used as a reason to increase state pressure even more. Minorities’ issues in general, to a large extent, are ignored as not worth attention since Russian authorities seem to believe that (predominantly Slavic) cisgender heterosexual men are the majority whose interests are supposed to be supported. Exclusively.

But at the same time, one cannot feel safe because stability and safety are hardly guaranteed in the country to anyone. There is nearly always the risk of being punished in one or another way. To say something that will be considered by somebody inappropriate, to look different, to live differently, to display initiative, to think more than you are expected, to criticise anything related to Russia, etc. And it is mostly even not about laws, however stupid they might be. You don’t need to have a law, you just need a man to charge with its violation — as another famous Russian saying goes. Russia is not a state ruled by law. For instance, the law that prohibits propaganda of ‘non-traditional sexual relations’ has been interpreted as if propaganda is literally any mention of LGBT. There is no clear definition of propaganda in the wording of the law, and nobody cares about that. The wording itself also involves some clear separation of citizens into first and second-class, but again, nobody cares. It is quite understandable, though, in the circumstances when people have to think mostly of their basic survival. Moreover, the authorities intentionally foster this devil-may-care attitude among the population as well as promote the image of an enemy who is to blame for the country’s problems. In the current political discourse that reminds the Soviet one more and more, ‘Great Russia’ is surrounded by enemies who wants to destroy the country and its specificity. It is not important that nobody actually understands what this specificity is, the only thing that matters is the reference to the country’s greatness.

There is also always a feeling of economic instability and uncertainty, which, logically, makes people even angrier and more ready to find an enemy, a reason of their struggles in anything. Russian authorities have been channelling this anger towards LGBT people for a decade now. Politicians and state-owned mass media also deliberately promote ignorance among people. This ignorance, to a significant extent, concerns sexual and gender issues which are discussed only from the patriarchal, heteronormative position. Other positions are framed as perverse and disgusting.

Finally, political passivity and deliberate avoidance of anything politically related is a characteristic of many Russians across generations. Often politics is considered as something dirty, not worthy of someone’s attention. There is another view as well — that politics is dealt with by smart men in expensive suits who know better than us, ‘simple mortals’ how to govern the country, so we don’t need to interfere or even question them about their actions. This is basically a view of my mum, which makes me really, really sad. Thus, anything Russian political and media figures say is often perceived as unquestionable truth (hello, Soviet Union!), including the demonisation of LGBT people.