Autoethnography. Entry 13 — About ‘normalcy’ as a key factor in general Russian hostility towards LGBT+ people
I have been thinking a lot about probable reasons why the general Russian population tends not to sympathize with LGBT+ people. I have come to a conclusion that it has a lot to do with the very widespread idea in the society that ties everything good or acceptable to ‘normalcy’, ‘normality’. A person is supposed to be normal to be recognized as a proper one. And this is, of course, another question — what is normalcy? — although it looks like the majority of Russians have a pretty Soviet understanding of it. I have no doubts it stems from the USSR, where people ought to be, look, behave, act within pretty strict norms of what was socially acceptable. Because of that, they looked, behaved and acted very similarly, at least on the surface (the hypocrisy of the Soviet Union was overwhelming, but not many would acknowledge it back then and especially now in the circumstances of top-down reintroduction of one and only historical truth). So, today’s thinking is very much like that — to be considered a part of ‘Us’, the Russian people, you have to be like us, which means not standing out, but blending in.
Obviously, this idea is strongly articulated by those with anti-LGBT+ views who hate the idea of Pride Parades, who condemn the transgression of gender roles and are offended by any signs of same-sex affection in public. Significantly more upsetting, although not really surprising, is the fact that the same idea is often articulated by Russian LGBT+ people themselves and even within LGBT NGOs in the country. It is quite common when non-heterosexuals and gender non-conforming people try to convince the majority that they are ‘normal’, ‘just like you’, that they are as ‘traditional’ as the so often highlighted ‘traditional family is’. This argument helps to fit into the overall uniformity but does not undermine the matrix of the Soviet thinking, this ‘normalcy’, ‘sameness’ everyone should aspire to. There is nearly nothing in the social conscience to promote this undermining — it looks like the experience of being different in the 1990s and early 2000s has been forgotten. Over the last fifteen years or so the society has gone through the process of unification from the top. The political and media discourses have been actively pushing the agenda of only one truth and one right way of thinking and behaving. And this is not to say that there are no people who do not agree with it. There are some, perhaps even many. But it is scary to be unlike all the people around. It might have totally unpredictable consequences. This directly applies to LGBT+ people. Showing one’s ‘non-traditionality’, which is perceived in pretty much any visual or behavioural cues that may be interpreted as ‘gay’ or ‘trans’ automatically puts one into the ‘abnormal’ category, ‘not-US’, which — in this perverted logic — legitimates doing pretty much anything to the person who dares to be ‘not normal’ — from depriving one of dignity to verbal and physical abuse to physical elimination. Homophobia has so many faces. And in a situation when being (or at least looking) ‘normal’ is a prerequisite of one’s relative safety, one, of course, puts every effort to pass as ‘normal’, so the tactic of LGBT+ people to fit in is more than understandable, but nevertheless so sad. It does not help in educating the so-called ‘majority’ about the fact that we all are different. There should not be one standard of an ideal person/citizen. We are all unique, and all should be valued equally. But the Russian law and politics and — as a consequence — the society does not recognize LGBT+ people as equals. The infamous law on propaganda mentions that ‘non-traditional’ sexual relations are less socially valued than ‘traditional’, therefore, LGBT+ people are also framed as less socially valued.
Interestingly, in Russian political and media discourses today, there is a division of rights into those for the majority — and these are more important, and those for minorities, which are far less important and look almost like scraps from a table of the majority’s rights.
Why do I write all that today? Because I have received another email from my mum where she tried to explain her point of view on Russianness, Russian culture, and ‘non-traditional’ relationships. I am simultaneously angry and upset. Especially because it looks like due to the constant brainwashing by the Russian political machinery she is under, she will never be able to understand me.
One of the ideas in her email that hurt me especially badly was that the minority (LGBT+ people) should leave the majority in peace and let it live without guilt. She — as quite many other heterosexual and gender-conforming Russians today — perceives attempts of LGBT+ people to attract society’s attention to their problems as almost hysterics and aggressive imposition of ‘non-traditional’ values. She does not see people in non-heterosexual and gender non-conforming individuals; she sees an obstacle to her feeling no guilt as a part of the majority who does not want to think about minorities’ problems. Because why would you if you cannot relate to them? You have never faced the experience they are talking about, so it is easier to just disregard and dismiss it as something having no significance to ‘normal’ people. Yes, she divides people, she always does. Into good and bad, right and wrong, moral and immoral, ‘ordinary’ and elites, and for some time now into ‘traditional’ and ‘non-traditional’. This black and white thinking also stems from the Soviet Union and is actively reinforced top-down today by politicians and media. I wish she was watching TV less and thinking critically more, but the latter, unfortunately, is generally discouraged in Russia today. As mum herself told me repeatedly, ‘it is bad to critique your country; you are supposed only to love it’. Sadly, she does not understand that silencing problems does not resolve but just worsen them and leads to irreparable harm. Acknowledging problems is a very important and critically necessary first step towards sorting them out.
